Monday, March 2, 2015

Friend Family or Foe Don't Yell At Me I'm Trying To Survive And Thrive

You know support from family and friends during cancer is a big deal.  Their words of encouragement as well as physical support are a huge component for our healing,  however in the "real" world support from family and friends does not always exist.  Often times the support is only shown when their world is going well and the lack of consistency from others can become a huge setback in our recovery physically and spiritually.   Support needs to be a constant and a commitment from friends and family period.  Unless your child is sick or you have cancer I promise you friends and family your world is much more comfortable than ours.  It's your words of support that make me feel I can endure yet another surgery or doctors appointment with confidence.  Yet every time I have a surgery or doctors appointment someone feels the need to yell and scream at me.  Apologizing afterward means nothing if you keep practicing the behavior.  You see for we Breast Cancer Warriors our tolerance for this type of behavior is little to none.  As a matter of fact my world keeps getting smaller and smaller because if the people in my life cannot understand the daily struggle I have to maintain sanity and a sense of normalcy ... well then I can't have them in my life.  The struggle to survive mentally after Breast Cancer is an every single day deal.  We don't get to put it on the shelf and worry about it another day we deal with this reality every single day.  We think about dying, every single day.  We think about what our bodies look like every single day.  We think about how cancer has ruined our lives every single day!  Recently I had the non-pleasure of being yelled at in public three days before my surgery for something completely out of my control.  Tell  me if I've done something to upset you of course but God help you I was not put on this earth for you to scream at me, under any circumstance and certainly not for something beyond my control.  Fast forward after surgery ... yelling is just as damaging after surgery as it is before.  People I'm trying to recover and move forward with my life and I will be damned if I will allow anyone friends, family or otherwise to come into my world and spew their unhappiness in my direction.  Where does it say I need friends and family to survive?  The way I see it I pretty much did this whole "cancer" thing on my own.  For the friends and family that feel the need to yell at me and make my life miserable for things beyond my control I DON"T NEED IT!  And I don't need you.

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